What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
