am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
