Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.

  (347): View more from New York

  And what brought this epiphany?

  (646): View more from New York

  I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later

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  (646): I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on. (347): And what brought this epiphany? (646): I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later http://tfl.nu/hsai
  Replies (27) Good night (3454) Bad night (628)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.

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  (847): Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called. http://tfl.nu/lgas
  Replies (21) Good night (3317) Bad night (904)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test

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  (301): i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test http://tfl.nu/616n
  Replies (130) Good night (20727) Bad night (2454)
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  (818): View more from California

  I just ran into the couch, vagina first.

  (1-818): View more from California

  I hope you got dinner out of it

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  (818): I just ran into the couch, vagina first. (1-818): I hope you got dinner out of it http://tfl.nu/uzwb
  Replies (15) Good night (4272) Bad night (883)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded

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  (306): This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded http://tfl.nu/nfzj
  Replies (59) Good night (1288) Bad night (7050)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.

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  (802): I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends. http://tfl.nu/oh1c
  Replies (10) Good night (4989) Bad night (1014)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."

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  (318): He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later." http://tfl.nu/4lz3
  Replies (14) Good night (2488) Bad night (3832)
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  (661): View more from California

  When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience

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  (661): When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience http://tfl.nu/gidk
  Replies (17) Good night (883) Bad night (5075)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.

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  (724): Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is. http://tfl.nu/bxv0
  Replies (7) Good night (4694) Bad night (1708)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.

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  (319): Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now. http://tfl.nu/g0lg
  Replies (5) Good night (3679) Bad night (1090)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.

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  (479): Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs. http://tfl.nu/zkx1
  Replies (13) Good night (2977) Bad night (2268)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to

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  (703): We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to http://tfl.nu/xfm2
  Replies (7) Good night (1910) Bad night (525)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos

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  (814): The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos http://tfl.nu/br7k
  Replies (3) Good night (1082) Bad night (573)
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  (408): View more from California

  im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake

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  (408): im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake http://tfl.nu/9w4m
  Replies (1) Good night (635) Bad night (281)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support

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  (404): I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support http://tfl.nu/236u
  Replies (3) Good night (608) Bad night (314)

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