He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.