Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes

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(540): I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes http://tfl.nu/2t0p

Replies (15) Good night (644) Bad night (993)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"

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(908): i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits" http://tfl.nu/grvc

Replies (45) Good night (3887) Bad night (1033)
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(607): View more from New York

How was dinner with ur grandparents?

(1-607): View more from New York

I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."

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(607): How was dinner with ur grandparents? (1-607) I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana." http://tfl.nu/9nup

Replies (18) Good night (1401) Bad night (6562)
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(713): View more from Texas

woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night

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(713): woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night http://tfl.nu/ddwb

Replies (30) Good night (4670) Bad night (731)
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(281): View more from Texas

he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."

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(281): he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to." http://tfl.nu/qnhd

Replies (16) Good night (1843) Bad night (5533)
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(214): View more from Texas

For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.

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(214): For those pictures, I will suffer this headache. http://tfl.nu/al31

Replies (2) Good night (3276) Bad night (883)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.

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(541): Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers. http://tfl.nu/28i2

Replies (22) Good night (1109) Bad night (1731)
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(347): View more from New York

I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead

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(347): I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead http://tfl.nu/i3pk

Replies (7) Good night (1351) Bad night (583)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.

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(414): If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg. http://tfl.nu/31ua

Replies (2) Good night (1292) Bad night (617)
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(678): View more from Georgia

He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.

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(678): He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story. http://tfl.nu/lvz4

Replies (4) Good night (1175) Bad night (501)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard

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(780): I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard http://tfl.nu/fp3r

Replies (7) Good night (793) Bad night (436)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.

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(610): I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions. http://tfl.nu/ms2p

Replies (12) Good night (844) Bad night (611)
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(905): View more from Ontario

he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions

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(905): he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions http://tfl.nu/h15i

Replies (2) Good night (657) Bad night (408)
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(904): View more from Florida

It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics

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(904): It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics http://tfl.nu/x92g

Replies (1) Good night (636) Bad night (269)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?

(603): View more from New Hampshire

that happened

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(508): Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing? (603): that happened http://tfl.nu/dxuy

Replies (1) Good night (213) Bad night (383)

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