Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.

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  (281): Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location. http://tfl.nu/j750
  Replies (30) Good night (4649) Bad night (807)
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  (631): View more from New York

  this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed

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  (631): this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed http://tfl.nu/rgow
  Replies (19) Good night (5594) Bad night (1251)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.

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  (414): Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after. http://tfl.nu/9oxv
  Replies (41) Good night (1372) Bad night (7703)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  you are both the best and worst wingman ever.

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  (204): I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?" (1-204): you are both the best and worst wingman ever. http://tfl.nu/2hl0
  Replies (17) Good night (7353) Bad night (1340)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?

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  (917): Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her? http://tfl.nu/rn89
  Replies (17) Good night (7313) Bad night (1066)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo

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  (630): i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo http://tfl.nu/10yt
  Replies (5) Good night (2726) Bad night (1098)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music

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  (+44): could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music http://tfl.nu/hszo
  Replies (7) Good night (2493) Bad night (953)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day

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  (512): Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day http://tfl.nu/zcoa
  Replies (6) Good night (2296) Bad night (1589)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS

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  (603): ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS http://tfl.nu/rbdc
  Replies (12) Good night (1933) Bad night (963)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.

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  (605): She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating. http://tfl.nu/imu2
  Replies (8) Good night (529) Bad night (1211)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.

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  (808): He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married. http://tfl.nu/414x
  Replies (18) Good night (1024) Bad night (2428)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time

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  (203): Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time http://tfl.nu/nn7c
  Replies (1) Good night (785) Bad night (1119)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.

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  (646): I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands. http://tfl.nu/f9cd
  Replies (2) Good night (800) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken

  (716): View more from New York

  Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.

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  (615): Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken (716): Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital. http://tfl.nu/50ab
  Replies (1) Good night (562) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.

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  (813): I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well. http://tfl.nu/2ndz
  Replies (1) Good night (138) Bad night (227)

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