Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(940): View more from Texas

Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....

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(585): View more from New York

he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

it was like getting a handjob from robocop

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Read it at the TFLN blog
(309): View more from Illinois

stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.

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(707): View more from California

I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class

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(209): View more from California

We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.

(1-209): View more from California

Duh.

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(720): View more from Colorado

We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.

(970): View more from Colorado

Oooh, he sounds pretty classy

(720): View more from Colorado

Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.

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(602): View more from Arizona

What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat

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