Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  "Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): "Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God. http://tfl.nu/18zl
  Replies (23) Good night (1431) Bad night (1240)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me. http://tfl.nu/aut7
  Replies (15) Good night (932) Bad night (3333)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  So do you want to come over? ;)

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): So do you want to come over? ;) (763): Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/m0zn
  Replies (44) Good night (1213) Bad night (6894)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything http://tfl.nu/dkqa
  Replies (16) Good night (487) Bad night (3138)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home. http://tfl.nu/0j8i
  Replies (22) Good night (6107) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party. http://tfl.nu/a5ld
  Replies (33) Good night (11579) Bad night (3066)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes http://tfl.nu/0fsj
  Replies (24) Good night (4975) Bad night (2508)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all. http://tfl.nu/c3dm
  Replies (16) Good night (6034) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I wish his dick was as long as his hair.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I wish his dick was as long as his hair. http://tfl.nu/x3k7
  Replies (13) Good night (1073) Bad night (6803)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems http://tfl.nu/fumh
  Replies (4) Good night (3246) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow. http://tfl.nu/o1qn
  Replies (11) Good night (4310) Bad night (999)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead. http://tfl.nu/smv5
  Replies (20) Good night (3447) Bad night (1100)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number http://tfl.nu/oocs
  Replies (6) Good night (2950) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (478): Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up. http://tfl.nu/imv1
  Replies (11) Good night (4101) Bad night (1582)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us. http://tfl.nu/gs5u
  Replies (4) Good night (937) Bad night (435)

Randomize