Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry

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  (781): btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry http://tfl.nu/6odg
  Replies (7) Good night (896) Bad night (2430)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I cont stop tolking in a british axsent

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  (215): I cont stop tolking in a british axsent http://tfl.nu/j2m9
  Replies (45) Good night (4017) Bad night (980)
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  (209): View more from California

  He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7

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  (209): He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7 http://tfl.nu/6n0p
  Replies (7) Good night (3661) Bad night (798)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.

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  (908): Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life. http://tfl.nu/04rm
  Replies (63) Good night (1098) Bad night (5258)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination

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  (910): I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination http://tfl.nu/u6pu
  Replies (26) Good night (5159) Bad night (542)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.

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  (505): While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/0pt9
  Replies (9) Good night (4016) Bad night (960)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..

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  (815): it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching.. http://tfl.nu/6kt4
  Replies (10) Good night (2611) Bad night (1247)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.

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  (727): Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome. http://tfl.nu/3ucr
  Replies (20) Good night (1954) Bad night (631)
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  (714): View more from California

  Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.

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  (714): Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas. http://tfl.nu/rvqb
  Replies (5) Good night (586) Bad night (1310)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life

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  (917): No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life http://tfl.nu/p0nl
  Replies (1) Good night (500) Bad night (797)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.

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  (301): Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited. http://tfl.nu/b9mp
  Replies (2) Good night (749) Bad night (293)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.

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  (606): Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend. http://tfl.nu/7yx3
  Replies (3) Good night (730) Bad night (312)
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  (310): View more from California

  He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning

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  (310): He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning http://tfl.nu/j6rj
  Replies (1) Good night (288) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?

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  (314): He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left. (1-314): So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home? http://tfl.nu/r5sj
  Replies (5) Good night (714) Bad night (253)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.

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  (620): What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself. http://tfl.nu/i9qu
  Replies (0) Good night (536) Bad night (200)

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