I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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