I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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