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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  maybe i'll see you again later :)

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'd rather shit a knife.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.

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• (323): View more from California

  You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (713): View more from Texas

  No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".

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• (850): View more from Florida

  You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line

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• (561): View more from Florida

  I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon

  (850): View more from Florida

  Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  This can only be settled by a dance off.

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