Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference

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(847): Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference http://tfl.nu/ny65

Replies (4) Good night (1541) Bad night (993)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.

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(203): You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace. http://tfl.nu/24s5

Replies (48) Good night (7216) Bad night (1158)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."

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(715): In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy." http://tfl.nu/mr96

Replies (13) Good night (1480) Bad night (4258)
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(313): View more from Michigan

The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car

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(313): The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car http://tfl.nu/lq42

Replies (40) Good night (5019) Bad night (1361)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high

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(724): I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high http://tfl.nu/9wko

Replies (23) Good night (1301) Bad night (6609)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket

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(601): she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket http://tfl.nu/j6rw

Replies (8) Good night (3751) Bad night (1115)
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(718): View more from New York

I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.

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(718): I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there. http://tfl.nu/dv4v

Replies (13) Good night (4433) Bad night (1564)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"

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(507): Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07" http://tfl.nu/j0aw

Replies (12) Good night (2723) Bad night (1225)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight

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(610): 3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight http://tfl.nu/lsa5

Replies (3) Good night (2533) Bad night (874)
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(512): View more from Texas

I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.

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(512): I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench. http://tfl.nu/bsle

Replies (9) Good night (3428) Bad night (1100)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god

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(662): I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god http://tfl.nu/z3js

Replies (6) Good night (822) Bad night (1519)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.

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(267): He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man. http://tfl.nu/v6o1

Replies (9) Good night (3093) Bad night (1102)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.

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(859): apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us. http://tfl.nu/vs1x

Replies (18) Good night (3647) Bad night (893)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese

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(503): I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese http://tfl.nu/zq39

Replies (1) Good night (467) Bad night (559)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.

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(708): Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important. http://tfl.nu/v8rd

Replies (8) Good night (819) Bad night (420)

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