Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
