Where did you get a picture of my penis
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
