i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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