saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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