By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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