I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he shaved USA in his pubs
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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