You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
