I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
