At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
