I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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