I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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