i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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