Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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