so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
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Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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