i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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