now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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