I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
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Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
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All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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