i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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