yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
