You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
