you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
