RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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