Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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