and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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