He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
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Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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