the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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