Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
