I wanna bring you to show and tell
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
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I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
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I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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