You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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