I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
