It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
