Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
