Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
