You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
