everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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