ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
