She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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