Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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