Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
