She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
my poor anus
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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