Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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