Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
