I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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