Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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