the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
