I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
