All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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