So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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