And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
