STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
