Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
