He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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