i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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