I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
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