Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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