Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
