I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My vagina just recognized that song.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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