I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Small penises have feelings too.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
