is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
