i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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