do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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