So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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