i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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