you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
