I feel like abortions should bother me more
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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