I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize