How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
