If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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