If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
